Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Book Preview: #1 The first time I tried to answer the question What does it mean to become a mother. it involved pumping two or so ounces of breast milk that would become just one of the two bottles I needed to feed my infant at day care the following day. I sat in that closet and pumped and pumped, and when the milk didn't come, I sat in that closet and pumped some more, until I was so frustrated that my back hurt and my breasts felt like they were going to explode. And still the milk wouldn't come. I was desperate. I wanted to know what it means to become a mother, but I couldn't get an answer. Still unable to produce enough milk for my baby, I went back to work. I needed more information, but more information was not coming. I was four months postpartum-the time of most intense lactation-and this still wasn't enough milk. How long would this take. -> What does it mean to become a mother. For many women, the answer is scary because it means examining how they are different from nonmothers, and from a male perspective, how much less interesting they are. #2 This is not a parenting book. I have two kids, and I have written a book describing my experience as a new parent. I am not a parenting expert. #3 This book will not give you advice on how to raise your child or how to be a parent. It will instead explore the biological changes and lived experience that makes parenthood so profound. #4 The idea that we are the dedicated mother bird, guided by a maternal instinct that has been perfected through the ages, is bullshit. We are not naturally caring for our children. We are not born with the ability to do so.