1. What everyone should know about SIDS and infant death. In memory of Samuel Yves Lyman Laigle / Sheri Laigle -- Defining SIDS -- What SIDS is and what SIDS is not / SUID/SIDS Resource Center -- An expert's perspective on SIDS and other infant deaths / Rachel Y. Moon -- Research breakthroughs give hope for diagnostic test / Joani Nelson Horchler -- "Difficult" trends in statistics, and the debate on bed-sharing / Joani Nelson Horchler -- Consider the numbers / Robin Rice -- SIDS then and now: a personal and political history / Carrie Griffin Sheehan -- 2. The nightmare begins. A mental replay of Thursday, March 21, 1991 / Michelle Morgan Spady -- The day begins / Janice John Roper -- On that dreadful day / Candace N. Herkins-Jones -- Baby Ben / Lynne S. H. Javier -- Empty arms / Stacy Parks -- Untitled / Abraham Lincoln -- The sitting time / Joe Digman -- 3. "Coulda, woulda, shoulda": dealing with guilt and anger. Grief's healing rage / Nancy Purcell -- Sharing of tragedy lessens the pain / Kelley Trost -- To the man upstairs / Joani Nelson Horchler -- How can therapy help with guilt? / Patricia W. Dietz -- The women in my family / Margaret Polizos -- Grasping at straws to blame ourselves / Joani Nelson Horchler -- All that is left / Janice John Roper -- 4. "Why my baby? Why me?". Footprints / Anonymous -- One point of view / Jay Lamb -- "Why? Why me?" / Richard A. Watson -- A Jewish perspective on "Why?" / Marjorie Romanoff -- A grandmother asks, "Why?" / Millie Lutz -- When you don't believe in a God / Ned Balzer -- How faith helps us / Jeannie Nelson -- For anyone who has lost a child / Margaret Lee Dove-Hedges -- SIDS / Désirée Spencer Stamps -- 5. Fathers: the "second-class" grievers. The unique burden of fathers / Bob Shaw -- The missing person / An interview with Pete Petit of Healthdyne -- 89 days of sunshine / Jonathon L. Andell -- An awesome dream / Chuck Dohrman -- My would-be perfect family / Robert Lopez -- Surviving a bereaved wife / Gabriel F. Horchler -- Always in my heart / Marta Brown --

6. Children grieving children. Amy, Amy / Michael Purcell, age 5 -- Missing someone I never knew / Lindsey Hosford, age 11 -- A spring death / Ilona Horchler, age 14 -- Sister / Jon Mihalko, age 11 -- He should have been my best man / An interview with Curtis Schweitzer -- Helping siblings cope with death / Kee Schuth Marshall -- Bless his soul / Jennifer Wingfield, age 13 -- Sadness in May / Gabrielle Christine Horchler, age 9 -- How we helped our children and how they helped us / Joani Nelson Horchler -- What Mister Rogers has to say / An interview with Hedda Sharapan -- For my baby sister Stephanie / Tony Paik, age 5 -- 7. Grandparents: a grief doubled. Oh, for the purely material losses / Dora Nagy Horchler -- AGAST: an alliance for grandparents / Sandra R. Graben -- The double hurt of grandparents / Beverly Powell -- A letter from Grandma Nelson / Doris Guhin Nelson -- Sweet memories of Jacob Barlow Kruse / Christine Fackler Salemi -- Forgive me, my daughter / Jean Andre -- 8. When a baby dies at the child-care provider's. SIDS in child care / Rachel Y. Moon -- As child-care providers, it's our baby, too / Donna Shelton -- A parent's perspective / Jennifer McBride -- Only the sitter? / Donna Allen -- 9. How to be a friend to a SIDS or infant death survivor. The dos and don'ts of helping a survivor / Joani Nelson Horchler -- A friend's memory of William Kendal Herrera / Renee Scolaro -- Letter from a friend / Cheryl Lambson -- Untitled / Oscar Wilde -- A comforting note from friends in England / Philip, Diana, and Patrick Beddows -- Befriending the grieving / Robin Rice -- Just say, "I'm sorry" / Gail Fasolo --

10. Planning a funeral and the role of the clergy. A Christian celebration of Christian / Father John J. Hurley, Jr. -- William David Waugh / Fern Stanley -- A funeral director's personal experience with SIDS / Sondra L. Held -- Planning a special funeral / Joani Nelson Horchler -- Eulogy for Margaret Hood Schuth: a gift from her mother / Kee Schuth Marshall -- Obituary of Christian Horchler / Josette Shiner -- Selecting the right funeral home / Ray Visotski -- 11. Learning to live again. "How many children do you have?" / Joani Nelson Horchler -- The glass half full / William C. Ermatinger -- Going out into the world again / Carla Hosford -- How I survived my baby's death / Joani Nelson Horchler -- A letter to Michael / Liz Waller -- A prayer for spring / Janis Heil -- Moving beyond the sudden death of a child / Regina A. Rochford -- 12. Happy birthday? Merry Christmas? Missing Danny at the beach / Janice John Roper -- Surviving anniversaries and holidays / Shelley A. LeDroux -- Kathy's day / William C. Ermatinger -- Marking the milestones when you have lost your only child / Michelle Morgan Spady -- Portraits for Easter / Cheryl Radich -- 13. Peer contact and professional help. A peer contact answers the question: "Are you still doing that?" / Debbie Gemmill -- Untitled / H. Thurman -- A SIDS parent counseling SIDS survivors / Carla Hosford -- Finding friends among other SIDS families / Nancy Maruyama -- Home visits by public health nurses / Linda Esposito -- Hitting it off with a counselor / An interview with Mike Hitch -- My lifeline / An interview with Gwen Robinson -- 14. Emergency medical responders and the authorities. Dos and don'ts for emergency responders / Kerry Day -- When emergency responders lose their own baby / Michelle Grogan -- SIDS and the homicide detective / An interview with J. Richard Salen and Steve Kerpelman -- How not to treat a SIDS survivor / Darlene Buth -- The "suspicious" loss of twins / Joani Nelson Horchler -- The role of the medical examiner / John E. Smialek --

15. A subsequent baby and the question of home monitoring. Thoughrts on a subsequent pregnancy / Sheri Laigle

Another baby with dark brown eyes / Kandace DeCaro

Celine / Marie-Pascale Hill

Room for more angels / Deneena Herrera

The haunting memory of SIDS / Jennifer Wilkinson

Forever in our hearts / Nick Missos

A clinical view of monitoring / Robert Meny

Tips for home monitoring / An interview with Barb Follett of Kirson Medical Equipment Company

When you've lost your only boy or only girl / Joani Nelson Horchler

16. Guilt and risk reduction. Against all odds / Chris Brink

For a subsequent child: reducing the risks as much as possible / John L. Carroll and Ellen S. Siska

17. Dreams and premonitions. The effect of premonitions of SIDS on grieving and healing / Patricia Christenson, Richard Hardoin, Judith Henslee, Frederick Mandell, Melvin Morse, Carrie Griffin Sheehan

18. Moving forward. Life after SIDS: what is possible? / M. John O'Brien

Twenty-four years later: the Arlette Schweitzer story / Joani Nelson Horchler

How therapy can help us move forward / Patricia W. Dietz

Letter to Justin / Norine Blanton

Letter to Michelle Elizabeth Dickerson / Denise Michelle Dickerson

Letter from my child / Dolly Guess-Colvin

Thirty years later, a look at Peter's gifts / An interview with George Keeler and Kay Keeler

Moving forward by raising money to fight SIDS / An interview with Susan Hollander of the CJ Foundation for SIDS

Do not stand at my grave and weep / Author unknown

The sailing ship / Author unknown

Rise up slowly, angel / Diane Robertson

From Juliet's speech / William Shakespeare

19. More stories and poems. Eleven days / by Peggy Biebel

Trevor's secret / Lori R. Dickey

Thank you to our son / Gerardo Orozco

A face in the clouds / Leyna Rose Figliozzi

A poem from Grandma Joni / Joni Sterkel

Appendix: National and international organizations that provide information, counseling, research data, and grants on SIDS and related topics.